This day gives one moment to pause, think, and be thankful for many things despite the horror we have experienced. I of course am thankful that my family and friends are safe. This is not the case for many and my heart goes out to them.
We did not have our reading tonight. I did not think it appropriate despite the desire to be close to friends. I thought it best and still do that I reflect on all that has happened. I look upon the day with such horror. Never in my worst most evil thoughts could I wish this upon anyone. As a Jew I see it through those eyes, as an American I look through yet another set, as a spiritual being I see things even differently. However, no matter what eyes I look through, I cannot conceive of this level of hate and violence.
And herein lies the problem, I cannot conceive of it yet someone else obviously could and did. How difficult it is to look at the world with compassion in the face of such hatred.
I realized that we need more patience for each other and that petty arguments should just be allowed to fall away. Our pettiness as a race gets in the way of our freedom. Forgiveness for such is important. Enemies are not friends you have petty fights with. Those are not real enemies. And it is stupid to hold onto such grudges... Not after today.. Not after seeing what true enemies are like.
I went out for a walk and found myself looking very closely at everyone and everything. All was under my scrutiny. And I realized I could not live like that.. Being so careful that I could not allow myself to be free. So I reversed that concept and took off those chains that inhibited me and I greeted every passerby like we were in the old west and each was comrade or bunkmate or friend. I was not smiling outside.. Nor in... The horror of the day too strong. But I felt better. No, I did not want to hug everyone who walked by.. I just simply wanted to greet them.. And I did so. I felt better for it. I hope they did too.
It is so quiet without airplanes flying overhead.
much love to you
Larry
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