1. LIVING ARRANGEMENT?
I live in a house in west LA with David. There are piles of books and magazines everywhere, lots of martini glasses, and not enough storage. There is never any food in the fridge. If you like to cook and shop at the grocery store, please come over NOW.
2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Anil's Ghost by Michael Ondaatje, Poems of Akhmatova (trans. by Stanley Kunitz), Complete Posthumous Poetry of Cesar Vallejo (trans. by Clayton Eshleman)
3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
I use a Kensington track ball - it's an ergo thing and there's no pad.
4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
I can't say Stratego because then I'll sound like Wayman and we wouldn't want that, now, would we? Scrabble's okay...
5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE?
The New Yorker. There are scattered issues in every room of my house and at least one issue in my backpack at all times.
6. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Lily, anise, ripe fuji apples, oatmeal chocolate chip cookies baking in the oven, sweat on a clean body, snow.
7. FAVORITE SOUND?
"Yes." The ocean. Rustling silk. David saying,"Good morning." The ocean. John Coltrane. Laughter that is with, not at.
8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
Helplessness.
9. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
What am I late for?
10. FAVORITE COLOR?
Warm orange, deep red, magenta.
11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?
Almost never answer the phone. But I usually call back.
12. NAME OF FUTURE CHILD?
Figure I need to have a cat or a dog first. Having a commitment problem there.
13. MOST IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE?
First: Being alive. Second: Writing. Not necessarily in that order.
14. FAVORITE FOODS?
Dense chocolate cake, espresso, breakfast in bed.
15. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
Coffee.
16. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?
Is this some kind of psychological question attempting to discover whether or not I'm a control freak or a risk taker? Hm? Hm?
17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
When I'm sick. I get to choose between the stuffed lobster, the walrus, the meerkat, or the extremely rotund French cat. Yes, they all have names. And the foreign ones have passports, too.
18. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY?
If I'm walking in the rain and it doesn't matter what I look like when I reach my destination, cool. If I'm on a boat on a lake where the mast is a lightning rod, scary.
19a. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
1976 Oldsmobile Cutlass, V-8, gigantic, blue, not pretty, could pull a horse trailer uphill at 80 mph. Not a good idea with a horse in it.
19b. ULTIMATE CAR?
Some old Triumph, convertible Mercedes, or other car that fits in your back pocket, looks sexy, and is incredibly unsafe.
20. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE WHO WOULD IT BE?
My birth mother.
21. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
Cosmopolitan of course!
22. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?
Sagittarius, but are you accounting for precession? The sign you're born under in this millennium isn't the same as when this mythology was first created.
23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?
Only if I have to. Life is too short to force myself to eat broccoli stems.
24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Published writer with absurdly hectic deadlines and a fabulous paycheck. I suppose any paycheck would be fabulous...
26. EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
Absofuckinglutely.
27. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?
As long as someone else is buying, does it matter?
28. FAVORITE MOVIE?
The Unbearable Lightness of Being (cry buckets), Sabrina (the original with Bogart and Hepburn), The Philadelphia Story (crackling dialogue), Out of Africa (cry buckets), Guys & Dolls (where else does Brando sing and besides I love Frank so much), Some Like It Hot (no explanation necessary), Fistful of Dollars (Eastwood in that poncho), North by Northwest...
29. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?
When I'm not dictating into voice recognition software, yes.
30. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED?
The Arabian Nights (trans. by Haddawy), Czeslaw Milosz, Robert Hass, Osip Mandelstam, a biography of Max Perkins, the 1999 O. Henry Awards, a history of world religion, Self-Help by Lorrie Moore, about ten other books, some New Yorkers, and a heating pad.
31. FAVORITE NUMBER?
14
32. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?
Bruins basketball. But each July I clip every article in the paper about the Tour de France because Lance Armstrong is my hero.
All right already. I did this silly quiz. But what you really want to know is: Wayman Barnes - boxers or briefs? And then you'll want to know how I know. More to come - just keep reading that Forum page... Ahem.
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